Šund zabavnik

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Bok!
Ja sam Glupinickname a ovo je "Šund zabavnik" - trivijalni blog o trivijalnim temama. Njihov popis možete pronaći ovdje.

Čitamo se!

(GNN)

Stranice
Fantastika - SF&F podforum IMF-a
AV Club - krasan način za gubit vrijeme
TV Tropes Wiki - Learn it. Love it. Live it.
Roger Ebert - zakon recenzije i zakon blog
Wrong Side of Art - stoljeće filmskog šunda
Good Show Sir - samo najgore SF naslovnice
Shorpy - fantastični skenovi starih fotografija
Modern Mechanix - vickasta znanost jučerašnjice
Tales of the Future Past - budućnost kakva je trebala biti.
Dark Roasted Blend - kul stvari iz znanosti, tehnologije i šunda

Blogovi
"Beware! The Blog!" - moj stari blog
At the Diner - patnje mladog Nighthawka
Blogov kolac - blog Darka Macana
Svijet u boci - odem pa čitam
Nefove kolumne - funny as Hell
Nepoznati Zagreb - "Ulicama moga grada..."
Dečko koji obečava - trash movies galore
Almighty Watashi - da ne postoji, trebalo bi ga izmislit





01.04.2009., srijeda

Ozračje autentične srednjovjekovne mučionice

Party spent the evening sitting in their still-unopened tavern, discussing future plans of action. Just as they discussed their plans for making a blitzkrieg assault on the premises of a potential cult leader, they smelt smoke coming from the outside. No wonder – "The Cockmongler" was on fire!

So the party runs out smack in the middle of bandit ambush. Fight ensues while the local patrol of Sigmarites soon arrives and sees the whole mess. While party butchers their would-be murderers, Sigmarites and local residents organize themselves and start dousing out the flames before fire spreads out to other buildings.

Party kills most of the attackers: Yuviel actually manages to kill one, Bullwick killsteals the other with his sling and slaughters the third one in melee combat – proving you don't fuck around with halflings – while Hildebard almost goes to the Crit Hit Table, but not without dispersing some of the proverbial Verenian justice. All in all, party was great in their combat – I think I threw eight or nine bandits at them. Anyway, one bandit is left alive, unconscious and with Hildebard sitting on his chest

But here come the Sigmarites demanding to know why did the party start all this ruckus, what is their relationship with these brigands and are they or were they ever a member of the cultist party.

Party starts defending themselves. Luckily – for me – their official papers granting them rights to help and serve town's Guard are with Ugrim…. Who's getting himself drunk in the town's garrison. Scuffle breaks out, Hildebard defends himself and gets knocked unconscious while Sigmarite leaders proclaims "Fuck this! Take them all in and let Sigmar sort them out!" Bullwick and Dieter surrender and get taken with Hildebard and bandit into the Sigmar's temple. Yuviel sneaks away to get Ugrim's help. She tries unsuccessfully to pass through the guard. After one of them starts enquiring about secret weapons on her person and demaning to "search the little lady, heh heh" Yuviel threatens them that she'll shrunk their stuff because she's an elf and they can do that, you know.

Meanwhile, in the dungeons…

We're in the subterranean dungeons of the temple of Sigmar. "A scent of mildew emanates from wet dungeon walls." A set of torturing devices amply describes what awaits our heroes. Camera shows us Bandit hanging on chains, still unconscious. It moves to the right and shows Hildebard, also uncsoncious. It moves right again and shows us Dieter, bitten, pale, half-naked but with a stiff upper lip. It moves right again, then a bit down and shows Bullwick chained in a very special tiny set of chains.

Big, bald, ugly torturer arrives giggling like a kid. Think Sloth from the "Goonies". There's also an old, tiny man with a long beard, giant quill and a whole lot of scrolls on his person: that's Akakius Akakius, official scribe of the Sigmar's temple. They start torturing the bandit. Dieter and Bullwick heroically face their Will Power Tests.

Meanwhile, in the city's garrison, a wtachman pours a bucket of water on Ugrim's head – SPLASH! – and he wakes up to talk with Yuviel.

Shadowspawn: "I have to talk to you because improtant stuff has happened. By the way, you might not recognize my character at first because she has a black hair now and…"
DaysofMay: "Yes, do talk about your haircut! Never mind us, it's not like we're getting tortured or anything!"

So, after some discussion they ran to the Captain of the Guard who gets angry at Sigmarites blundering through his own investigation of the cultists: he already has his prison full of folk suspected of cultist activities and he figures them safer inside then in the town when they'll get promptly burned by Sigmarites or lynched by the hysterical mob. He decides to send his men to the main square where Sigmar's temple is and start a little siege of his own. Also, he sends party to get Verenians to help him.

In the dungeons, tortured bandit admits he was working for some suspicious smugglers that turned out to be cultists. He also mentions how the sewer monster that the party killed was used to hunt down and slaughter reluctant cultists and how one of the leaders, who hired the bandits to steal one of the mutant corpses from the morgue and display it on the town square wqas one of the Town Council members, Vizinni.

Bullwick sees some rats running around the dungeon. Ugrim's player comments: "Heh, now they're probably sitting in the comfy chairs, watching the torturing like those rats in "Wallace and Grommit" watch them launch their rocket while eating popcorn."

"Well funny you mention that" says I "cause these rats look similar to Brown Jenkin from "Dreams in the Witch House": disturbingly human-like creatures that are obviously whispering to each other LIKE THEY'RE SOME SORT OF SENTIENT BEINGS!!"

Bullwick rolls another Will Power Test.

In Verena' temple, leader of the temple quickly agrees to help Captain of the Guard to force Sigmarites once and for all to stop causing shit around Arnsberg in this moment of crisis. She talks to the old leader of Verenian Templars to take party through a secret passage into the sewers. There, they can find another secret passage that leads straight into Sigmarite dungeon where…

Akakius, the Sigmarite scribe fills out his scroll with badnit's last utterings of "Help! Help! Don't kill me! I'll tell you everything! Auch! Auch! Have mercy!" while torturer rolls now dead body from torture rack and grabs Dieter to torture him. Another Wil Power Test for Deiter and also, some damage.

But luckily, in that very moment, Ugrim, Yuviel and old Verenian Templar barge into the room through the secret passage. Yuviel shoots torturer with an arrow (he starts crying like a baby) while Ugrim bitchslaps Akakius and Templar releases remaining party members from chains.

"Man! Those rats sure must feel disappointed right now. Are they kicking tiny rocks while holding their hands in their pockets?" says Blackadder.

"No" says I "After looking at you one last time they run from the dungeon through a tiny hole. Camera follows them as they run through labyrinthine passages of Arnsberg sewers arriving finally to a hidden chamber where a man-sized rat things lurk, dressed like medieval executioners. Their leader has metal gas mask on his snout, goggles on his head and a big steam-powered boiler thingy on his back. Little rats report him what they've seen after which he angrily pulls out sme sort of metal pipe things, releases some valves and burns the rats with a green flame coming from the boiler thingy on his back.

(GNN)

- 10:03 - Rubrika: Za dopisovanje (0) - Dečje novine, Gornji Milanovac - X marks the spot

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